I have learned what makes one refined and cultured, especially when conducting their wedding. Let me clue you in, so that you may know how to plan your future wedding accordingly.
Have the fanciest wedding possible. If you can get your wedding inside DisneyLand, perfect! Dress up like Cinderella, enter in a pumpkin, have sideshows of your fascinating life, and you know, all that jazz.
If you’re the father of the bride –I’m wondering why you’re reading my stupid blog for advice. Anyhow, let your daughter pick out whatever she dreams off. You don’t need to be there when she’s making decisions and picking out the location of the wedding. Your only participation required is your credit card.
Make sure to take as many pictures as possible of your ultra amazing affair. If you don’t, you won’t have proof to show your children how cool you were back in the day. They’ll think you’re ignorant. You cannot have that. So do the right thing.
Shallow human beings burning money, all while saying they’re suffering economically. Really? I wouldn’t have known. It’s funny that it is the very same people whom if they can abuse somebody’s rights and get whatever it is they want for free, by golly they’re going to do it. That is not ignorant at all, and I’m sure their future children will agree. It only makes sense that they cannot treat their imaams well. I mean, hello, anybody can look in the Quran or Saheeh Bukhari and Muslim and figure out the ruling; besides, the Imaam is backward. He’s most probably against photography anyway, because he doesn’t know better! 😦
Why pay somebody like that? Well, I don’t know. Because you just wasted Allah knows how much on a one day affair, when your big family could have gathered together and done a pretty good wedding yourselves? Or maybe the same reason you pay for a class at college that you have no intention in getting a degree in, when you could have just bought the textbook and learned it all yourself, without the hassle of stupid exams. Or the same reason you hire a personal trainer to come to your home, when you could just watch a couple videos yourself, it’s not like the trainer is helping much. Well to be fair, the trainers are doing a good job on the brides, just not the aunties…
Don’t complain that Americans are ignorant towards Muslims and deprive us of our rights. We do that just fine ourselves and it’s okay, right? Ah fine, complain about Americans and have protests. It makes you feel good that you done something for da Ummah, and who am I to deprive somebody from a pat on their own back… My gawsh, I hate protests.